Your Kidney was Like a Gravel Pit

My stones were removed yesterday. Not just a 1.3 cm stone but a whole lot of tiny ones as well. Then my kidney bled a lot so they left a 1 cm stone in there. I have a stent, I am at home and the hydromorphone is not working. So sore and the house is a mess. Ugh.

Short Update

For an educated person I am not always smart. *sigh* I could not access this account for some time now. A lot has happened since the last time I posted. My husband Kris left me and fell in love with someone else. I went to Toronto with my best friend and had emergency surgery on my kidney that wound up creating pain for months, more surgery and hospital stays. Kris came home, left without telling me, decided not to come back and I had to stop going to university due to my health. In the meantime, Curt did not show up to court the last few times, although I did, pain and all. I never ONCE cancelled a court date for surgery. I cancelled surgery for court though! It wound up costing just under five thousand dollars and I am still not able to get child support or any court costs.

So now? I am going to have surgery on my kidney next Monday. It all started happening again in September. I had thought my kidneys were okay and I guess they were not! I have changed my diet and I am hoping that things will change once I get this shit over and done with.

I am depressed but what can you do? I want to move. I want a job. I want to be healthy. I want to be loved. We don't always get what we want!

Lawyer's bills and lame excuses!

I found out from Curt's ex-girlfriend last night that he was not out of town before the last court date. He was seen at work by one of her family members. She told me this when we went for dinner the other night. Interesting. He just makes shit up as he feels necessary.

I got a bill from my lawyer and my retainer has been exhausted. The total is just over $2,900 now. This was supposed to cost me $1,500 and if Curt and Susan didn't eff around with this whole court thing and didn't pull the stupid things they did it would have been that much. If CAS hadn't told my ex to keep my son from me it would have been that much. So here I am, waiting for June 27th to see what happens. In the meantime, I am taking Spring classes at university and my partner has gone to Vancouver for a while. I am going to Toronto soon and have been super busy with the kids.

Oh, I found out I have insomnia, sleep apnea and narcolepsy. So that is pretty awesome. Ahem. But the kids keep me on my toes and things are really going to be okay! I just want this crap over with is all.

He Couldn't Even Show Up to Court

I have been so busy. Finals, signing up for a new university semester, doctor's appointments and finally being diagnosed with the sleeping disorders that CAS and my ex seem to think I should be persecuted for. Moderate sleep apnea, severe insomnia and a form of narcolepsy. So I am not lazy (like my ex always said I was) and I have to sleep (although CAS thinks it is bad parenting) and I am having more sleep studies done in the upcoming weeks to see what will manage my disorders the best possible way.

But I digress. The case conference was on April 11th. We submitted that I would like to move to Alberta to gain employment and to be closer to my family. We waited for my ex. We were to start at 9:00 am. His lawyer arrived five minutes late and she said he had called her the previous Thursday. He claimed he had been out of town for weeks which was why he had not spoken to her sooner. (My oldest daughter saw him around town so he lied). We waited while his lawyer tried calling him and called her office. Nothing. So we finally began the proceedings. My son's lawyer stated that my son refuses to see his father and that my son told him I tell him to call his father. He said I told him the same thing. Then he said he believes us (and he should as it is true). He told the judge that he does not want to force my son to see his father and the judge agreed. Then my ex's lawyer started with this BS about me calling CAS on my ex and his girlfriend and how CAS is "currently investigating" my lies. She told the judge that apparently Curt has never once called CAS on me and the workers told him that. Funny, the workers told me that he and his girlfriends are the only ones who have ever called CAS on me! Of course CAS still has not submitted a thing to the courts so how can we show that, right? I have no reason to lie. Maybe the workers lie but I know my ex sure does.

So it was determined that on June 27th the judge will decided if I can leave the province to pursue employment and how much child support I will be getting.

In the meantime, my doctor's office called me looking for my ex. It seems he and his girlfriend took my son to my family doctor and caused a big ruckus about me abusing my son and his "horrible behaviour" and got a referral to a pediatrician. So now I have an appointment to sort that out!

Do I call CAS and talk to supervisors and figure out this BS about them lying to me, to the courts, etc? Do I complain about the alienation they created? I am so confused. And angry. I just want out of this hole. I also want to feel better and these sleep studies are so annoying but it may help!

Children's Aid and Abuse of "Power"

A child protection worker (CPW) called me a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Kelly Middaugh and she was very nonchalant when she said, "I bet you aren't surprised to hear from me, are you?" She sounded as though she thought it was funny. She had seen my son that afternoon and had to see me. Great. More BS. So we set up an appointment for Friday (it was Wednesday), which was cancelled by her on Friday morning.
Last Friday, she showed up. I was told a few disturbing things before she did show. My son came to me and said, "She is a different worker person Mom!" I asked, "Oh you mean different from Leslie (Coombs) that your dad and Susan made the allegations against me to in August?" My son said, "Oh yeah but also a different worker than the one I saw in December!"
December? Um, okay. "What did you see a worker for in December?" I asked him.
"Oh, when Dad hit me in the face", he told me.
I couldn't speak for what seemed like ten minutes but was probably about ten seconds.
"Okay, what are you talking about?" I asked, trying not to freak out.
So the story unfolded: Curt had hit my son in the face and when a counsellor at the school noticed a red mark on my son's face, he called CAS. (I still feel sick when I think about this). The worker, a woman named Amy, saw my son and pretty much disregarded the fact that Curtis had hit him. IN THE FACE. She told my son that if he behaved, he wouldn't get hit. She also apparently told him that since I was an unfit mother, he would go to a foster home if he kept it up.
Well, my son is not a bad child for one thing. He has never displayed any behaviour I cannot handle or that I think is worrisome. And it gets better....
So Kelly showed up Friday morning. I asked her if it was true that Leslie had told my ex and his girlfriend to keep my son from seeing me (as this is what was said in court). She admitted it was true. She said the allegations were so serious, she had to do that.
So, CAS has cost me thousands of dollars in lawyer's fees as well as money to the government as my ex committed a fraud in regards to my Child Tax Benefit. Oh, let's not forget the stress that has made me ill and made me miss and even fail some classes.
There is no way to fight CAS. I was told by this worker that they will always be around, watching me. I have not harmed my children and my kids will tell anyone that. I invite the workers into my home and I try to be compliant. I AM A SOCIAL SERVICE WORKER MYSELF. But I have to do what they say and I am a prisoner.

Still a Victim

We had a continuance of the case conference Tuesday and the judge was, well in all honesty, an idiot. A bitch. Stupid as hell. She kept telling us that my son needs support, etc and she was looking at ME. Maybe because my ex is such a slob he was scaring her. Oh wait, no she was looking at me because SHE BLAMES ME. There is a substantial history here. Curtis lies, he takes my child, HE calls Children's Aid on me and I get screwed over. Historically, judges haven't really believed his lies. Why now? He and that woman abused and used my family and they get away with it. I have been enduring his abuse for nearly 14 years now.My children have been as well and now he is using the courts to do it. I am tired of this garbage. I am about to lose my mind. No one cares how broken we are. And who will put us all back together?

I don't need blame. I need understanding. That judge should be ashamed. She puts feminists back about 80 years.

28 Days Later

Give or take a day....

My son is adjusting. It is not easy but he has "spilled the beans" so to speak. He told me a lot of disturbing things. Susan would tell him to "shut the f*** up" several times a day. She also called him an asshole. I am furious about this. No one should talk to a child that way and she talks to her own children that way. So does my ex and he was constantly yelling at my son as well. My son had no heat in his bedroom. We live in Northern Ontario! It has been in the minus 20 area for a couple of months now. Geez. Oh and whenever my son would tell Susan, "I am going to my room", she would remind him that it was HER son's room not his room. She would also remind him, "This is my house not your dad's. He just pays the bills so I let him stay here with you". What a lovely lady she is. (Sarcasm, obviously).

I bought my son a new snowsuit at Sears because he was wearing a coat that was two sizes too big and was stained and had tears in it. His snow pants were too small and did not match even remotely. His DC shoes I had bought him were thrown out for some friggin' reason so we went out and got him new shoes. And his socks? Susan gave them all to her kids, except for one pair. Soooo, socks were needed as well. His backpack was falling apart - new one. Now, I am not bitter about this at all... I am more than happy to provide for my child, however, Curtis received $400 a month from the government for my son. He also didn't pay for his lawyer; HE was eligible for Legal Aid. Funny. I am in university and I did not qualify, yet he works and he did?

I submitted my update to the courts in preparation for court on Tuesday morning and his response was emailed to me this morning by my lawyer. He did not respond to the allegations my son made in regards to abuse, etc. He simply stated that he returned the minor child to his mother on January 7th, 2011 and that he would like to have "generous access" to my son. Are you freakin' KIDDING ME?! LOL! When my son's lawyer asked me last Friday, "What will you do if Curtis calls and wants to see your son?" I said that I would not let him take my son from my home ever again. I said, "I do not trust him, he has done this three times now. I am ashamed that I let this happen to my child ONCE, nevermind three times!" He said that it needs to stop because my son needs stability. Well, he will get stability now. I am so embarrassed. I am an educated, mature woman who has raised four children. How and why did I let this happen?

I am so lucky that my son does not hate me. I have not protected him and neither have the courts. Now that I know that my son was being held there with bribes, lies and threats, it will never happen again. Because that is what he told me, that is what his uncle told me and what his uncle's wife told me. Yet the cops, lawyers and judges let this happen to us over and over and over again. I am not going to let this go. I may not have very much time right now to take care of this, but I will this spring. I am going to make sure that people are aware of my story and that Curtis and Susan do not get away with this.