When did Carl first hit me? Well, let's see. He came to move me in the very early morning hours on November 30th but we couldn't leave til December 1st (we had to get a moving truck). While we were moving things out of the attic on December 1st, Carl kicked me. Yes, he kicked me in the ass. I was shocked and I yelled, "What was that for?" He smiled and said, "I told you I was going to kick your ass". During our many talks on the phone, Carl had, indeed, told me he would kick my ass. "You smoke too much", he would tell me. "I should kick your ass". Or if I hadn't called him for a day or two, he would say, "You didn't call me. Geez I guess I have to kick your ass". Always with a chuckle and I just attributed it to a smart ass kind of humour, much like my own. When he kicked me, I nearly fell down the carpeted stairs and I was very upset. I wanted to get this move over so I could forget this jerk!
We finally got the truck loaded up and Carl's sister in law put me and my three girls into her rented van. Tanya was really nice to us, considering she didn't even know us. She was going to drive us back to Carl's apartment, where we would stay for a couple of nights until my townhouse was ready for me to move into it. I had money with me to pay the deposit for the house and utilities. I was scared and Tanya knew that. I had never lived alone for long and with three young kids it would be hard.
It was such a long drive. I get car sick so I took an antinauseant. I awoke around 9 pm and we were pulling into a gas station. I got out to stretch and get a bottle of Pepsi and something for the kids. When I got back in the van and took a drink of my pop, I coughed. Carl piped up from the back seat, "Choke f***er". Tanya turned around, furious. "Shut up. Be nice to her. What the hell is wrong with you?" I just sat there with tears welling up in my eyes. Now I was starting to wonder what was wrong with me. Why would he say and do these things?
We made it to his apartment eventually. It was really late and the kids were tired and cranky. I put the two older girls to sleep on an old, dusty fold out couch and the baby in her playpen. Carl went to his room and I laid down on the musty old couch across from where the two girls were sleeping. I cried and cried.... this was my new life?
To make this a little shorter, I will condense the story even more. I found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks later. Carl wanted the baby to be his and I was scared to be alone. He had never once left my home since the day I moved into my house. I wanted him to leave but I was in a strange city, knew no one and I was pregnant. So my new life in a strange place, 3,000 miles from my parents and sisters was going to be horrible but I would have my three girls and my new baby.
Oh I guess I better put some fictional names to my girls. They are now 20, 18 and 14. My son is 12. At the time, they were seven, five and 18 months. I will call the oldest Caitlynn, the second oldest Haley and the youngest Janelle. I will call my son, who was born the next August, Anthony.
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